Wednesday, January 6, 2010


I am moving future posts on this blog to wordpress. The 2009 posts and their funny comments will remain here for the time being. Hope to see all of you hysterical people at Wordpress.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

How To Combat The IRGC If Necessary

Rumors are abound that Pasadaran columns are nearing the outskirts of Tehran. The city might fall under martial law soon. As these rumors become more and more believable, I feel it necessary to give some tips to the Sea of Green about how to react to the Pasadaran (IRGC) if they enter the city.

1.If you are protesting and encounter an IRGC main battle tank or armored vehicle you should immediately get down on your knees, face the turret, place your hands up in surrender and begin apologizing profusely for trying to destablilize Iran. Do not throw a rock or molotov cocktail device at the tank, it will have no effect. Do not approach the tank or else you may be fired upon. Do not soil your pants while quivering in fear. The tank commander will just laugh uncontrollably.

2. If you encounter IRGC soldiers in the streets you should do as recommended above. Surrender and apologize. Do not throw rocks or try to persuade these hardened soldiers to join your side. They believe you have all been corrupted by foreign powers and will show you no leniency if you resist.

3. If Soldiers Enter Your not resist. If you are a protester, simply surrender. If you are harboring protesters, I advise you turn them in immediately. Otherwise you run the risk of being labeled as an enemy of the regime yourself.

I will post more tips as time allows

Monday, December 14, 2009

Not With A Bang, But With A Whimper

As the year comes to an end, so does the Sea of Green, fading gently into the evening. Western media has all but washed it's infidel hands of Mir Moussavi and his feeble attempt to overthrow the Islamic Republic of Iran's government. Social media networks such as twitter, and facebook are largely silent of protesters voices. On twitter, a small band of dedicated, fundamentalist pro-Mousavi students remains. However, that is about the extent of the once vaunted Sea of Green's reach outside of Iran. Inside Iran the situation is no more promising. The core of Mousavi's support is now centered almost entirely around young college students. These people have neither the intellectual prowess to realize how Mousavi is using them. They listen to his wordseffectively challenge the regime. They are in a precarious position. Mousavi's brainwashing attempts are responsible for sending dozens to prison cells every day. The heart of Iran- it's children- is being torn assunder by the power hungry Mousavi and his Sea of Green.
The remainder of Iran is wisely staying on the sidelines. The battle is, for all intent and purposes, already over. The regime's grip on power is stronger than ever. It is arresting Mousavi's supporters by the hundreds. Mousavi and Karroubi will be next. How do they retalliate against the regime?
The vandalize photographs of Ayatollah Khomeini.
And so ends the Sea of Green....not with a bang but a whimper.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

#Iranelection: Troll Paradise

I guess I started something way back when I decided to come on and debate the fools on the Twitter thread #Iranelection. My experiment has spawned a gaggle of new, anti-Green trolls! In the past few months a swarm of them have congregated on the thread. The green idiots there blame me, naturally. They claim it is me making a multitude of new accounts with names that mimick some of them. LOL I only wish I had the time to cause so much havoc there. Eyeranprotester....the in retirement. Eyeransupreme has taken his place. The others are non sanctioned poseurs.
Many people have come on claiming to be Persiankiwi. It tickles my fancy to see the chaos this causes. Persiankiwis, Persiankiwiabr and _Persiankiwi have stirred both hope and anger. But none come close to the madness caused by the uber idiot Persiankiwie. That man or woman, whoever it may be, had #iranelection in an uproar back in June.
I have two favorites in the new troll class. Jocariva, who claims to be the non-gay twin brother of the regular #iranelection poster Jocarva uses an avatar that Jocarva stole from him. But Jocarva claims it was stolen from him. Or, as he says "..You Stoooled it from me!" I wish I was creative enough to have made up Jocariva but I applaude his target of choice. Jocarva is an ass.
My ultimate favorite is Buddy_Luv. This guy comes on with an avatar of a cat he claims he molested. He acts like he's a friend of #Iranelection but the guy claims in other threads that he gives money to the Basij. I like him because he's a pure, unadulterated moron and makes no bones about it.
So I applaude him, Jocariva, and the other trolls currently fighting the good fight on #iranelection. Maybe they can help it trend once again

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Joanne Michele's Hunt For EyeranProtestr

Away from the chaos that the Eyeran campaign brought to the #iranelection thread, some Sea of Greenies were attempting to track down and identify Eyeranprotestr. Believe me, there was never the slightest chance of success, but they did try with gusto. DorkThink, a twitter member and frequent poster on #iranelection (And a fan of this blog ;-)) believes that she was able to trace my IP address and declared to the world that I was a kid from Northern California. She even brought this declaration to my blog and stated it in the comment section of one of my previous posts. Good try, however, you are wrong.
JoanneMichele, another tweeter and fanatical member of the #iranelection militia went beyond Dork's efforts in tracking me down. She appealed to her friends on the message boards at for help in hunting me down. She was greatly offended that somebody would come to #iranelection and disagree with the views of 99% of the posters and took it upon herself to make sure I was 'brought to justice.' Below is a a link to the 'Eyeranprotestr' discussion on that website. JoanneMichele was the ringleader as you can tell. Read through all of the pages of the US Realpolitik thread from Page 3 on

Start from this point on Page 3 (Cut and paste please, hard time linking it)

To conclude, JoanneMichele and her idiotic minions, after hours of research, came to the conclusion that I was a man named Afshin K Azar of Houston Texas. Epic failure. She even would send me tweets with the name and threatened to 'tell your wife what you're doing.' I told her to go ahead, Afshin was not Eyeran. I do not know for certain, but some friends of mine told me later that she did in fact contact the wife of Mr.Azar and caused quite a mess.

It's always interesting to see people like JoanneMichele and Dork use the tactics of their enemies. Basij and the Iranian government trace people through their computers. But hey, I guess that confirms that the Eyeran Campaign was more than a nuisance to #iranelection and its moronic members. Eyeranprotestr was apparently enough of an 'enemy' that Joannemichele felt compelled to hunt me down and bring 'justice' to me. She failed. So did Dork. All they've done is get innocent people into trouble.
Hey Morons, if you want to know where I'm from, just ask. It'd save you much trouble. I could be from Philadelphia or South Jersey or Texas or Singapore. Just ask! :) I only pray that JoanneMichele has not traumatized innocent Afshin and caused his family harm.

Wishing you all a great day!


Sunday, August 23, 2009

#Iranelection: Demise Of A Thread

It's about over for the thread #iranelection on Twitter. Once a staple of the Iranian opposition movement's supporters, and consistently one of the most popular trends on Twitter, it has, of late, degenerated into a hive of infighting, mistrust, and a simple lack of focus. It is dying off rapidly...and sadly. As the world's attention turns away from Iran, the thread has lost it's meaning and sense of direction. A majority of the people who continue to post regularly belong to a cadre of die-hard fundamentalist-type opponents of Ahmadinejad and the regime. They sit on Twitter trading historical quotes of inspiration and 'news from Iran' which is 99% rumor. They challenge all newcomers and prematurely denounce them as 'Spies for the regime' without any evidence. A few other tweets come from people or organizations looking to make a financial gain from the turmoil in Iran, such as the Haystack supporters. Haystack is a product alleged to provide uncensored internet access to people in Iran. I strongly doubt Haystack will ever live up to it's promise. There is no proof that it has, in any case. Nevertheless, Haystack supporters continuously ask for financial contributions on #iranelection. Where the money they receive goes, I have no idea. However, it's safe to say the money does not go towards making Haystack a reality. The remainder of the regular contributors to #Iranelection are the legitimate supporters of the regime and those lashing out for being labeled as 'government spies' and 'troublemakers.'
As the Sea of Green evaporates in Iran, it does the same on Twitter.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Fairy Tale That Is Persiankiwi and PersianKiwie

In the midst of a struggle, people need a hero. A living, breathing symbol of courage in a world that is increasingly oppressive and dark. Someone who they can look to for inspiration and encouragement, especially in the darkest of hours. Ghandi and Martin Luther King were such men. They existed, and there are long, detailed histories of them and their feats. Unfortunately, men such as this are not always there when the people need them. Fortunately, there are enough resourceful and creative humans around to compensate for this. If there are no heroic symbols alive, one can always create them, We've seen it before. Robin Hood is a perfect example. So are, to lesser extents, the pied piper and Peter Pan. Legends and fairy tales created to give people hope and inspiration.
In June, 2009, as Iran came unglued and the streets were filled with protesters and riot police locked in bloody clashes, a hero was created for the benefit of the "Sea of Green." With the aid of Twitter, and some very creative people, a fictitious person with the handle of PersianKiwi came into existence in the cyberworld. Persiankiwi, or PK as he/she is more commonly known, claimed to be a member of the opposition and gave what many believed to be accurate, first hand reports of the situation in Iran through Twitter.
Here is the Wikipedia article that gives a good account of the Persiankiwi fable.....

PK mysteriously disappeared one day in June after tweeting an ominous note. No one has heard from him/her ever since. Despite the fact that it is impossible to verify PK's existence, he has built up a massive following on Twitter. His absence is consistently talked about. Rumors are traded about his actual status. Some say he is alive and hiding. Others say he's been arrested and is in prison. I've even heard it said that he could be a Basij or government agent out to plant misinformation. No one knows for sure.

In late June or early July of 2009 the Iran threads on twitter were alive with news that PK had came back with a new name: Persiankiwie. People rejoiced and spread the word. PKiwiE claimed his original account was hijacked by the Basij and it was no longer safe. He also went on to claim that he had "hard proof" that yours truly, Eyeranprotestr, was a Basij agent. Well! Imagine my surprise. This lead me to believe that PK and PKiwiE were both imposters. I even went as far as to research PersianKiwiE and discovered that he was, in fact, an imposter. I made contact with him and my suspicions were verified. Brother PKiwiE was a fraud and made it known to the Twitter world.
The backlash was titanic. RT's soared across Twitter world announcing that PKiwiE was a fake! And so, the seeds of doubt were sewn about the original PersianKiwi.
I believed PersianKiwi was an imposter who, amazingly enough, was able to snooker thousands of people on twitter, who were hungry for a hero, into believing he was their salvation. fter some additional research, I discovered my doubts were accurate.
The truth is that PK is simply a fable conjured up by some college kids in California. I've been in contact with them. I know their names and where they go to school. They informed me that soon PK will return to Twitter under the original name and try again to "fool the idiots on there who cannot think for themselves" one more time.
Bravo, for the PK fairy tale! You've succeeded in fooling thousands of people and even getting PK's own wikipedia entry, and dozens of mentions on CNN and other news outlets worldwide. And PK don't even exist!!! He's not in Tehran, he's in Burbank!