Thursday, December 31, 2009

How To Combat The IRGC If Necessary

Rumors are abound that Pasadaran columns are nearing the outskirts of Tehran. The city might fall under martial law soon. As these rumors become more and more believable, I feel it necessary to give some tips to the Sea of Green about how to react to the Pasadaran (IRGC) if they enter the city.

1.If you are protesting and encounter an IRGC main battle tank or armored vehicle you should immediately get down on your knees, face the turret, place your hands up in surrender and begin apologizing profusely for trying to destablilize Iran. Do not throw a rock or molotov cocktail device at the tank, it will have no effect. Do not approach the tank or else you may be fired upon. Do not soil your pants while quivering in fear. The tank commander will just laugh uncontrollably.

2. If you encounter IRGC soldiers in the streets you should do as recommended above. Surrender and apologize. Do not throw rocks or try to persuade these hardened soldiers to join your side. They believe you have all been corrupted by foreign powers and will show you no leniency if you resist.

3. If Soldiers Enter Your not resist. If you are a protester, simply surrender. If you are harboring protesters, I advise you turn them in immediately. Otherwise you run the risk of being labeled as an enemy of the regime yourself.

I will post more tips as time allows